Early memories I
I was in my grandma's shop in Santa Cruz, mixing up the lentils with the rice, the beans with the sugar. Wait. There can't have been any sugar. Surely if there had been any the ants would have come to eat it? Definitely no sugar.
I remember the dark room, the counter, my new shoes. I had new shoes and I was very happy about that. I was walking on my heels and feeling very important. I think I was two.
There was a baby sleeping in a pram, right next to me. No idea who that was. Some relative, or family friend. My grandfather used to have this shop, but then suddenly he died a few months before I was born. So my grandma kept the shop for sometime. I think it was like a cornershop, but they had large bags full of grains and things like that and sold those by weight. Old style. This was about 27 years ago.
Apparently most people have their earlier memories from when they were about 3 1/2 years old. Apparently, some people, more women than men. have earlier memories. Why is that? Was I so totally extatic about having new shoes? or was it the baby? There isn't anything exciting about this memory of mine!
The other possibility is that I am making the whole thing up. They say we 'construct' memories based on photos, or on stories we are told about. We imagine we remember. In some of these such 'memories' we can see ourselves, like it was a film, and we had been watching rather than participating. But I remember what was around me, I can't picture myself. If I make an effort I think I can even remember the shoes I was wearing...
My mum keeps one of my shoes from when I was little. Maybe I am picturing those shoes? This is very confusing. I don't think I have told her, or anyone except for John, about this story. I realise now I dont even know if it was my grandmother's shop where I was.
All I really remember is feeling happy about the new shoes. And the coolness of the rice when you put your hand in the bag. And the shoes made me feel so big. I was a big girl.
So early, it started, this fixation for having new shoes?
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